“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” Vincent Van Gogh. Once you figure out what is in your control, attack what you have “learned with passion and determination.” Some challenges are daunting and stressful. This can lead to an unhealthy level of anxiety and that anxiety might paralyze some people. Don’t let your overwhelming situation rule your thoughts. Figure out what you CAN control, and begin with that. Then keep attacking things that you CAN control. Put “uncontrollables” (like the past) aside so you can focus on the task at hand. Then OWN the controllables. Keep in mind that even when you do not have a large objective, many people get a sense of control and decreased anxiety when they complete small tasks that they know they can control. These tasks might not even be directly related to the anxiety you are experiencing but completing them builds your self-efficacy back up. Additionally, there are probably tasks that you can control that at first you believe that you can’t. Important contribution from the Dean of Men: Once our students realize that their response to certain events can change the outcomes, they will realize they have more ownership in their life.
Simply put, you need to have self-control. (See what this Navy Seal has to say about Navy Seal on Controlling Your Temper) This does not mean that you need to SUPRESS your emotions and desires. You can acknowledge your emotions, but you cannot allow them to dictate your actions or overwhelm your rational thinking. (Stoic philosophy). Make sure that you can adapt and be flexible if needed.
Be careful. Your self-talk determines most of your destiny. YOU control your thoughts and therefore, when you are hit with disappointment, you need to start by controlling your thoughts - and then immediately begin controlling tasks. You will suffer far less if you quickly control your thoughts - and you will move forward if you quickly take action.
Simply put, you need to have self-control. (See what this Navy Seal has to say about Navy Seal on Controlling Your Temper) This does not mean that you need to SUPRESS your emotions and desires. You can acknowledge your emotions, but you cannot allow them to dictate your actions or overwhelm your rational thinking. (Stoic philosophy). Make sure that you can adapt and be flexible if needed.
Be careful. Your self-talk determines most of your destiny. YOU control your thoughts and therefore, when you are hit with disappointment, you need to start by controlling your thoughts - and then immediately begin controlling tasks. You will suffer far less if you quickly control your thoughts - and you will move forward if you quickly take action.
- Inaction will result in stress, but taking small actions alleviates anxiety. Jeff Bezos: Small Actions Reduce Stress.
- If you are paralyzed by anxiety (or even slowed down by too much going on at once), Ryan Holiday: Moving Through Anxiety.
- Don't allow other people's opinions of you to make you anxious. Jerry Seinfeld: Other People’s Opinions in which he describes how useless that anxiety is, but the entire interview is excellent.
- No matter how overwhelmed you are by your situation, just get started. Ryan Holiday: Just Get Started
- Novak Djokovic: Maintaining Mental Strength talking about how mental strength is NOT a gift, but something that is difficult to maintain.
- Pro Football Players, Cooper Kupp and Ryan Clark, talk about how Controlling the Controllables leads them to Cooper Kupp: Effort and Inner Peace.
- Kobe Bryant: Managing Emotions Under Stress and dealing with your emotions in stressful situations.
- Jahdae Barron: Control Your Effort at the 2025 NFL Combine. Control your effort and don't get emotionally attached to the result.
- Dartmouth’s Dr. Stephen Gonzalez: Stephen Gonzalez: Letting Go of Mistakes
- Just take a step. Ricky Nuttall: Take One Step, with advice on how to overcome overthinking.
- As soon as you falter or as soon as life hits you hard, you need to consider the "next play" mentality.
- "The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity." Amelia Earhart
- "1% beats 0%. Can't clean up the whole room? Clean a corner of it. Can't do all the dishes? Do a dish. Can't get in the shower? Wash your face. Always look for the thing you CAN do, with the energy and focus you DO have. Little wins pave the way for bigger wins. 1% beats 0%." Dr. Glenn Doyle
- "You have to assemble your life yourself — action by action. And be satisfied if each one achieves its goal, as far as it can. No one can keep that from happening." Marcus Aurelius
- "Overthinking is the biggest waste of human energy. Trust yourself, make a decision, and gain more experience. There is no such thing as perfect. You cannot think your way into perfection - just take action." Sylvester McNutt III
- "The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails." William Arthur Ward
- “Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall a soul except sin. God commands you to pray, but He forbids you to worry." Saint Francis de Sales.
- “One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm. Calm is a superpower.” Bruce Lee
- This tactic might take reflection, meditation, or prayer. “The mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” Seneca.
- "The most glorious works of grace that have ever took place, have been brought about by prayer; the most satisfactory and reasonable consolations of human life, have been obtained by prayer." St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
- “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. Marcus Aurelius
- "Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." Steve Maraboli
- "Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." John Wooden
- "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." William James
- "The best way to predict the future is to create it." Peter Drucker
- WHILE YOU ARE WORKING ON YOUR GOAL, BE SURE TO KEEP YOU MIND GLUED TO WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, NOT WHAT YOU ARE FEARFUL OF HAPPENING. "The mind is everything. What you think, you become." Buddha.
- “It is your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” Dieter F Uchtdorf
Action Questions:
- What aspects of my current situation are within my control, and how can I focus my energy on managing them?
- If I am negative about a challenge at hand, how can I rephrase this opportunity in a positive way?
- What strategies can I use to maintain a sense of calm and perspective when facing challenges?